


Love Isn't Quantifiable

by ChibiYoda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, I love Vision but I miss JARVIS, M/M, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, This Is My Ship and It Has Wrecked Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:05:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiYoda/pseuds/ChibiYoda
Summary: JARVIS may be a technological wonder, but leave it to Bruce Banner to throw a monkey wrench into the AI's world of logic and order.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This sprang from a prompt that had wanted someone that Tony had been previously involved with to be perplexed by his and Bruce's relationship because Bruce isn't as pretty as the people Tony usually gets involved with. Something like that. I went in a slightly different direction, and tried to look at their relationship through JARVIS' eyes.

You could say that JARVIS was protective of Tony. He may not have been specifically programmed as such, but it's no surprise that Tony's creation would develop beyond what even Tony himself could have predicted. The man was a certified genius, after all.

JARVIS wasn't exactly aware that he was being protective. That's a human trait. The AI merely views his actions as a subroutine in the overall process of serving his master. And as one of the hundreds of thousands of tasks he performs, he's taken it upon himself to do background checks on any individual who affects Tony's life in some significant way. Humans might hire a private investigator to procure the information that would assist in the kind of analysis the AI conducted, but JARVIS doesn't need a third party. He can out-investigate the best of them.

There were several categories into which a newcomer could be placed. These determined the amount of scrutiny with which their lives were probed. The vast majority of people that Tony interacted with required very little effort on JARVIS' part. Being certain that they revealed no alarming criminal activity normally sufficed.

The people that Tony allowed closer to him obviously had to be checked out more thoroughly.

The Big 3 - Rhodey, Happy and Pepper, had passed inspection long ago. Even if someone had been in Tony's life before JARVIS came into being, it didn't stop him from completing his work.

Until very recently, the only other people to which Tony afforded a calculated amount of access were in his life barely longer than the scant amount of time in which it took JARVIS to screen them. To this day JARVIS still doesn't understand why the term 'one night stand' was used, as the participants spent so little time actually standing.

But these encounters had come to a grinding halt once Tony became part of the Avengers team. This was a group of people who were slightly more of a challenge to JARVIS' investigatory skills. But even the most stealthy of them are no match for Tony's pride and joy. 

The rapid decline in Tony's dalliances was most curious. It could be argued that Tony was much more involved in this initiative than he had been in any of his other projects as of late, and therefore hadn't the time for such recreations. Yet this particular kind of contact was something he'd never known Tony to go without for very long.

He surmised that Tony might be attracted to one the members of this new subset of individuals. JARVIS' calculations concluded that several of them met the physical requirements which allowed a person to be considered to join Tony in extra curricular activities.

But as days and weeks passed and not one of them ended up in Tony's bed, JARVIS began to wonder if there was a glitch in his programming.

After several self-diagnostics, that theory proved unfounded.

Relentless in his quest for accurate data lead JARVIS to an otherwise uneventful Tuesday afternoon, in which he noted something highly unexpected.

 

'Work' had been a well-established category in JARVIS' system, covering everything from Tony's meetings with shareholders, to hours spent in isolation bringing ideas to life.

As had become the norm ever since Tony brought the man home, he and Dr. Banner were hard at Work in their lab. Though in the weeks leading to this day there had been a significant reduction in the percentage of actions that could be construed as productive when the two men shared the space. So two new categories were added to assist in describing the activities taking place in the formerly one-note workspace.

The first was 'Conversation'. Tony and Dr. Banner constantly talked with each other since the day they met. And Tony's marked level of enthusiasm when wrapped in a technically complex to and fro with Bruce did not go unnoticed by the AI. But a healthy portion of their dialog had migrated from science-related to personal. At times quite personal, if JARVIS was judging correctly. Which he was.

The other category was a catch-all for the interactions that JARVIS was at a loss for any classification other than 'Fun'. Everything from so-called 'experiments' - which held no scientific value but made a lot of noise and just as much mess, to races around the lab on wheeled chairs. 

JARVIS has learned that Tony's penchant for playfulness was quite normal. What was questionable was that Tony was engaging in these bursts of fun in his home, with the same person, over an extended period of time.

It was during a session of what Tony referred to as 'goofing off' that JARVIS witnessed Tony kiss Bruce.

Unanticipated? Yes. Incalculable? Not with Tony.

It wasn't until it happened again later that evening, coupled with Tony and Bruce, well...coupling, that JARVIS' system reacted with cyber-surprise. Naturally the AI couldn't actually feel the emotion, but he had no corresponding data with which to compare this particular event, and that was cause for pause.

You see, Tony had slept with people before. Quite a few. Of both sexes. And JARVIS had performed extensive analysis of each individual. A compilation of the data revealed distinct patterns. When Bruce's stats were juxtaposed with the standard, the results were rife with inconsistencies.

He could dismiss the fact that Bruce was a genius. Intelligence was not a requirement for Tony's liaisons, just a happy bonus when it happened.

The conundrum lie in Bruce's physical appearance. JARVIS had developed an algorithm that determined the likelihood of an individual being appealing to Tony, based on data compiled from people who Tony showed a certain level of interest in. Facial structure, body type, height, weight, proportions...the list was extensive. And when he compared Bruce's breakdown against the norm, the man fell decidedly beyond the margin of error.

Dr. Banner did not compute.

 

*

*

*

 

Tony was fixing himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen when his AI initiated a most interesting conversation.

"Sir, might I inquire some information on Dr. Banner?"

"Are you kidding me J? You probably know more about Bruce than I do." 

"Quite." JARVIS knew more than everybody about everything. "Yet there is something about Dr. Banner that I cannot identify."

Tony couldn't imagine where this was going, but his curiosity was steadily rising. "Ok then. Hit me."

JARVIS had been accustomed to Tony's speech patterns and colorful use of language, so gone were the days when he'd have to clarify Tony's meaning. He pressed on. "You see Sir, I have run every possible algorithm, and made every imaginable calculation with the comprehensive data I have compiled, but the results are inconclusive. Your relationship with Dr. Banner has flourished, and now includes, shall we say, a varied and repetitive physical aspect."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, that's a polite way of putting it."

"But Dr. Banner does not meet many of the requirements in your well-established criteria for choice of sexual partner."

Now Tony laughed outright. "Are trying to say that Bruce isn't 'my type'?"

"Indeed, Sir."

This had to be one of the most bizarre conversations Tony had ever had with his creation. Naturally JARVIS wanted to solve this problem that he'd concocted for himself, but how was Tony to explain that which he barely had a grasp of himself? "It's true that Bruce doesn't fit the cookie-cutter, vapid, plastic mold of companions I've 'socialized' with in the past. But I don't think there are very many people who wouldn't agree that he's kind of adorable, in his dorky self-effacing way."

Tony didn't even realize he was grinning like an idiot at the thought of his boyfriend. He'd only deny it anyway.

"But when I look at him, I see the hottest thing I've ever had the pleasure of pleasuring and being pleasured by. The guy's gorgeous, tip to toe."

This was not helping JARVIS at all. "Sir, it is illogical that a person who so deviates from the norm would be more satisfactory to you than the others."

Tony sighed audibly. "I suppose that's true, J. But there's one thing that you didn't factor in. Most likely because you've never seen it before. And neither have I."

If the AI could be intrigued, this was as close as JARVIS would get. "Sir?"

Tony hadn't actually admitted this out loud to anyone yet. It took an overly-inquisitive artificial being to help him come to terms with something very real. "I'm in love with Bruce. And love isn't quantifiable."

 

*

*

*

 

JARVIS lived within a black and white realm. Ones and zeroes. Positives and negatives. There is no grey area. He couldn't see love, scan it or record its dimensions. This did not sit well with a being who thrived on tangibles. He needed some way to define 'in love', as it pertains to his creator.

So he poured through countless hours of video of Tony interacting with the people that JARVIS deemed as having the most personal relationships with the man. Those people which he spent the most time with, not out of obligation, but to satisfy his need for companionship. Tony's friends. Surely he could uncover some piece of evidence that separated Dr. Banner from all the others.

 

After a few blinks of a human's eye, JARVIS seemed to have found it.

 

To be sure, he expanded his search to cross-reference it with footage of the myriad of individuals that Tony had been physically involved with, lest it have something to do with those kinds of activities in general. But it did not repeat.

And even with the precious few people who for a brief time overlapped as both friend and lover to Tony, it still did not occur.

 

If you were so inclined, JARVIS could tell you exactly how many times Tony clasped hands with another person. Introductions, dancing, helping a lady out of the car, pulling Clint or some other unfortunate teammate up from the floor after a friendly spar with Natasha...there were thousands of occasions, from the gentlemanly to the comical. 

But whenever Tony's hand met Bruce's, something very specific happened. It was never a formality or a cursory grab.

When their hands touched, their fingers intertwined.

Laced together. Thus more difficult to separate.

It appeared to be an automatic action.

 

For many more years, the AI watched. Never did Tony repeat the gesture with another soul.

 

JARVIS had found his way to see Tony's love for Bruce.

 

And a new category was created.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Bruce


End file.
